Many leaders believe they need to strike back against those who wrong them, but the pursuit of revenge can be toxic, experts say. It's often better to let things slide or -- better still -- to treat people's transgressions as teachable moments. "Truly transformational leaders are acutely aware of the cost of animosity. They realise the havoc that can be created by an unforgiving attitude," says INSEAD professor Manfred Kets de Vries.

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