“I thought it was just a bad week,” one of my clients told me. “Then every week was a bad week.” She had just stepped into what seemed like a dream role – meaningful work, a respected title and attractive compensation. But it didn’t take long for the cracks to appear. Her manager took credit for her work, and her ideas were ignored until echoed by others. She was tasked with menial assignments that didn’t reflect her level or expertise. And when she brought up concerns, she received vague reassurances — or worse, was told to “be more of a team player.”
And, even though her intuition told her something was off, she ignored it and began to second-guess herself: her judgment, her abilities, even her memory. Maybe I’m being too sensitive. Maybe I need to be more adaptable, more easygoing, more grateful. By the time we began working together, her confidence was gone. And yet she still hesitated to label the situation toxic: “I guess it could be worse…”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Toxic workplace dynamics often lurk behind seemingly attractive job situations. And they are more prevalent than we like to admit. The damage they cause is real, and it shows up everywhere: first in your sleep, then your self-worth and even your relationships.
In my coaching work, I’ve seen many clients have the same soul-draining experience. Dealing with a toxic manager or peer, they tell themselves they’re “too sensitive” or “not a team player” and often stay in toxic environments because they don’t want to be seen as difficult. They trade their well-being for a steady paycheck and a false sense of security.
Recognizing the early signs is key to protecting your energy and making empowered decisions before burnout sets in.
Here are five red flags your workplace might be quietly undermining you:
1. You’re praised for overextending, not for delivering sustainably
In many high-achieving environments, performance is measured not by the quality of your outcomes, but by how much of yourself you sacrifice in the process. You’re rewarded for staying late, skipping lunch breaks and answering emails at all hours. Boundaries are regarded as obstacles. In contrast, healthy workplaces focus on balance and value outcomes achieved over hours clocked or constant availability.
What to look for: Are people praised for setting healthy limits, or only for pushing themselves to the brink?
2. Feedback feels vague, shifting or punitive
Constructive feedback is key to professional growth. But in toxic cultures, feedback becomes a tool of control. You’re told to “be more strategic” or “less intense” with no clear examples or direction. The goalposts keep moving. Performance expectations are inconsistent, subjective or communicated only after the fact.
As a result, you’re often left in a state of self-doubt, trying to read between the lines and preempt criticism instead of focusing on meaningful growth.
What to look for: Are expectations clearly communicated, or do they change without warning? Are feedback conversations regular, actionable and consistent? Or do they feel arbitrary and destabilizing?
3. You can’t be yourself at work
This one is harder to articulate — but deeply felt. You find yourself self-censoring in meetings. You hesitate to offer new ideas. You’re constantly managing optics instead of doing your best work. Slowly, you become a curated version of yourself — more cautious, less creative. Over time, this takes a toll on your confidence and job satisfaction. When psychological safety is missing, engagement, performance and innovation suffer.
What to look for: Do you feel free to speak freely and contribute authentically? Or are you constantly second-guessing how you’ll be perceived?
4. You’re told your concerns are the problem
One of the most damaging aspects of a toxic workplace is gaslighting. You raise a valid concern — about exclusion, micromanagement or a boundary violation — and instead of being taken seriously, you’re dismissed, told you’re “overreacting,” “too sensitive” or “not a good culture fit.” This dynamic erodes your trust not only in the organization but in yourself. And that’s precisely the point: toxic people thrive on creating self-doubt.
What to look for: When you raise an issue, are you met with curiosity and a willingness to reflect, or with defensiveness, blame or spin?
5. You’re excluded from key conversations or decisions
Being left out once might be a mistake. But if you’re consistently informed after decisions are made, not invited to strategic meetings or kept out of the loop on your projects, it’s a sign of systemic exclusion. This kind of invisibility is demoralizing. It undermines your influence, diminishes your ability to lead and sends a clear message: You’re not in the inner circle. And when people stop feeling seen, they stop showing up fully. Or they leave, if they can.
What to look for: Is access to information and decision-making transparent? Or are influence and visibility reserved for a select few?
Toxicity doesn’t always show up as screaming matches or public shaming. It can also show up quietly in the form of ambiguity, subtle exclusion and emotional erosion. But quiet or not, it’s devastating. It affects performance, chips away at innovation, and contributes to burnout, turnover and mental health challenges.
Staying in a toxic culture comes at a cost. If you’re constantly walking on eggshells, questioning your worth or laying low to remain employed, it’s time to re-evaluate. Listen to your instincts. They’re often the first thing to go quiet when we’ve been conditioned to tolerate too much for too long. Ask yourself: What am I trading for this paycheck? Who am I becoming in this culture? And is that who I want to be?
You may not be able to change the culture. But you can decide whether to stay in it. And that decision is the beginning of reclaiming your power.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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