I was facilitating the final session of a two-part workshop on career development recently when one supervisor piped up and announced, “I tried … and this stuff doesn’t work!” I paused (swallowing that natural defensive response) and invoked my standard invitation to “say more about that.” And boy, did he.
He explained that he had scheduled meetings with each team member, telling them that they needed to create development plans. He reported using his favorite question of the ones we practiced during the workshop: ‘What’s your definition of success?’ And he shared that, to his disappointment, the conversations went nowhere. People seemed guarded. They talked in general terms and refused to volunteer anything personally vulnerably. They appeared uncomfortable and anxious to end the conversations. As a result, he concluded that “this stuff doesn’t work.”
So, I asked a couple of questions of my own. (His responses are paraphrased in parentheses.)
- How did you set these conversations up? (I told the team that I’d been to training, and they each needed to have development plans by the end of the month.)
- How frequently have you talked with team members about their growth in the past? (Annually, when prompted by HR.)
- How much do you know about their goals, interests and broader lives? (Not too much — we’re all busy doing the work.)
- How would you describe your relationship with your team? (What do you mean … they’re my employees.)
Perhaps the presidential election has permeated my subconscious because the first thought that came to mind was a riff on James Carville’s famous line, “It’s the economy, stupid.” In my case, it was, “It’s the relationship, stupid.” (Said only in my head!)
Career development — a consistent challenge for organizations, leaders and employees — is not getting easier. In fact, many would argue it’s even tricky today given shifting demographics, escalating expectations, flatter and distributed structures, generative AI and more.
At the same time, career development has become considerably more important to organizations and their success because talent remains the only sustainable competitive advantage. Study after study confirms that employees who experience the opportunity for growth are more engaged, collaborative, productive and loyal. And those who don’t have any qualms about taking their talents elsewhere. (Or, more damaging, they stay quietly quitting and engaging in fake work that undermines not only performance but also team dynamics.)
But here’s the good news. We can address the bulk of the challenges we currently face related to career development with one powerful response: leaders who (unlike my workshop participant) are equipped to engage in development relationships with their employees. A development relationship goes beyond scheduled encounters, scripted dialogues and systems-based actions. It’s about the behavior that’s demonstrated day in and day out that sends the signal of respect, interest and support. It’s about the curiosity and questions that slip naturally into routine exchanges. It’s about the understanding and trust that are cemented over time. It’s about the human interaction (HI) that AI can never match. In fact, McKinsey’s research found that even with the proliferation of generative AI, “employees continue to seek human-centered development, care and authenticity.” In a word, relationship.
In my forthcoming third edition of Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go, my co-author, Bev Kaye, and I deconstruct the development relationship that effective leaders forge with others into critical behaviors that, when demonstrated over time, cultivate an unbeatable environment for growth. They include such things as:
- Benevolence — genuinely having the other person’s best interest at heart
- Curiosity — sincere interest in learning about and understanding others
- Empathy — understanding, respecting, and honoring feelings, experiences and different points of view
- Vulnerability — sharing a leader’s weaknesses, struggles and failures authentically
- Honesty — demonstrating integrity, openness and transparency in word and deed
- Grace — normalizing and welcoming mistakes as a part of the learning process
- Support — having the other person’s back (especially when things veer off course)
- Patience — recognizing that development takes time and isn’t always a straight line to success
These behaviors are not “one-and-done’ actions to check off as “done.” Instead, they play out repeatedly and iteratively over time, connecting and combining in ways that ultimately result in a development relationship.
I have to agree with that disillusioned workshop participant. “This stuff doesn’t work”… if you try it outside the context of a relationship. But when you have an authentic connection and use that as the basis for helping employees grow — well, that’s the opposite of stupid. It’s leadership genius that will drive development, engagement, retention and results.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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