Early in my career, I taught at an alternative campus serving students who had been removed from their home schools. Many were behind academically. Some were dealing with instability at home. Nearly all of them had learned to keep adults at a distance.
They came to class guarded. Some barely spoke. Some refused to participate. Most had already decided school was not a place built for them.
At the time, I was teaching subjects like Algebra II and science — courses I was hardly an expert in. Yet the bulk of my students returned to their home campuses, performing academically better than before.
It wasn’t because I discovered a better curriculum. It was because I listened.
The power of listening
I learned what music they loved. I listened to the albums they were recording. I asked about their goals, their families, and what they cared about outside of school. I treated their interests as worthy of my attention.
Over time, they began showing up differently. They worked harder, engaged more and attended more consistently because they started believing school could be a place where they mattered.
That experience shapes how I think about chronic absenteeism today.
Schools across the country are investing enormous energy (and money!) into improving attendance through incentive programs, competitions, and stricter accountability measures. Some of these efforts help at the margins, but they rarely address why students disengage in the first place.
As I often tell school leaders: Your waffle party won’t drive the bus.
Connection helps students feel seen
Students may enjoy rewards, but rewards do not create lasting attachment to school. Connection does.
When a student feels seen and knows there is an adult who genuinely cares whether they show up, that changes behavior in ways incentives cannot replicate.
When I returned to traditional school settings, I began experimenting with something deliberately simple: using the first few minutes of class to help students connect before diving into academics. Sometimes, students shared what they were excited about. Sometimes we discussed current events or laughed at memes. We always gave students space to speak and be heard.
We called it the First Five. What started as my own classroom routine eventually became something I brought to other teachers as a simple framework for starting class with intention and connection. I kept it deliberately low-lift because teachers are already overwhelmed. They don’t need another initiative layered onto their day. They need practical routines they can actually sustain.
What surprised me most was who it reached.
There were always students who seemed completely checked out — sitting quietly, rarely participating, projecting what my co-founder John Whalen calls a “10-foot wall.” Then, on a day I skipped the routine, those same students would be the first to ask, “Aren’t we doing the First Five today?”
Consistency is a superpower
That question told me everything. Even students who appeared disengaged were paying attention. They had come to count on it.
For students whose lives feel unpredictable outside of school, a consistent routine signals something important: This place is different. You are expected here. You matter.
Belonging is not separate from academic outcomes. It drives them.
When teachers know what students care about, they can make learning more relevant. When students feel connected, behavior challenges decrease, and classrooms become more joyful places to teach. Stronger relationships don’t just help students. They protect teachers from the burnout that comes from spending every day fighting disengagement.
Schools need good attendance systems, family outreach and better data. All of that matters. But they also need to ask a harder question: What are students walking into every morning?
If the answer is a place that feels impersonal or disconnected, no incentive campaign will solve chronic absenteeism for long.
Students show up where they feel seen. Build that, and you won’t need the waffle party.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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