It was a hot summer day on our cattle ranch in Wyoming. I was ten and helping my dad fix a broken hay baler. He told me to get a tarp from the feed barn so he could spread out his tools. I ran up, threw open the door, and spotted the tarp lying on the floor. When I gathered it in my arms, I felt something move underneath.
Then I heard the rattle.
I dropped the tarp immediately and ran back to tell my dad there was a rattlesnake in the feed barn. He handed me a nearby shovel and told me to take care of it. And, by the way, “I still need that tarp, so don’t come back unless you have it!”
That day, I learned two important lessons. First, we never know what lies beneath until we start to probe. Second, we must take responsibility for neutralizing whatever threatens to hurt or derail us and not expect someone else to do it for us!
I neutralized the rattlesnake into two pieces and developed a lifelong respect for the importance of peeking under the surface to peel back layers until the truth is exposed. Perhaps this is why I became an FBI Agent.
When dealing with people, there is always more than what appears on the surface. I learned this in grade school. I didn’t realize until later that it’s impossible to show up authentically in life until we have probed deep enough to predict our responses in volatile situations instead of succumbing to emotional reactions.
What lies beneath the surface really matters. If leaders want to be authentic, they need to look honestly at themselves and see the good, bad, and ugly. Here are 3 powerful ways authentic leadership will transform your success:
Overcome the dark side
Leaders often shy away from admitting that their emotions and thoughts can control their behavior, usually at very inconvenient times. When our feelings and thoughts sabotage our best efforts to move forward, we’ve encountered our dark side.
Smart people understand that the dark side of our nature is the result of human development. We all have a dark side; at times, it seems to leap at us unexpectedly, but it’s been a lifetime in the making. When confronted with a significant problem, our insecurities, need for approval, jealousy, anger, competitiveness and other dysfunctions leap out.
It’s challenging to be authentic when emotions take over because they can lead to unpredictable reactions. These emotions are often more tied to our past than to the present. Leaders will find it difficult to be authentic until they understand how past experiences have shaped their current behavior.
Whether it’s a rattlesnake or our insecurities, the only way to deal with the problem is to pull back the cover and terminate the pest.
My tip:
- Identify and name the experiences that have shaped you.
- What are the patterns underneath the behavior that surfaces when in a stressful situation?
- Are there places in your leadership where you realize you are wearing a mask so people don’t see the real you?
Face up to the past
The demands of leadership often push us to a point where our negative behavior becomes obvious when under stress. However, we can acknowledge the hidden dynamics that drive us by facing up to the past.
Leaders who reflect on past experiences, successes and failures can better identify patterns in their behavior, emotions and decision-making processes. Often, the best lessons come from our childhood and the way we were raised.
For example, if we grew up without a lot of emotional support in childhood, we may crave the limelight. If we lived in a punishing environment where we were expected to perform to exact standards, we might become rigid, with no tolerance for less-than-stellar performance.
Many other scenarios play out in childhood, but leaders will find it challenging to be authentic until they can accurately pinpoint where, when and how they developed their personality traits.
By confronting and learning from their past, leaders deepen their understanding of themselves and enhance their ability to inspire trust and authenticity in those they lead.
My tip:
- Explore your life story, including childhood experiences.
- Uncover the formative events that shaped your personality.
- Process these experiences to develop resilience, empathy and clarity about your purpose.
Cultivate awareness
Authenticity comes from knowing your values and living by them. Being phony is hard work; it takes a lot of effort to be someone you’re not.
Authentic leaders are deeply self-aware and understand their values, strengths and weaknesses. They consistently align their actions with their values.
Denial is a lot less painful than awareness, but if we remain in denial, we’re stuck in bondage. We’ve allowed ourselves to be victims of our circumstances. Awareness allows us to take responsibility for our actions.
Mental toughness is believing we can prevail in our circumstances rather than believing that our circumstances will change.
Every leader will eventually wrestle with the question, “Who am I at the core of my being?” Authentic leaders are true to themselves and align their behavior with their core values and beliefs. This enables them to build trust and respect through transparent communication and honesty.
My tip:
- Solicit feedback from trusted colleagues, team members and mentors to gain external perspectives on your leadership style and blind spots.
- Focus on understanding and managing your emotions while recognizing the emotions of others.
Authentic leadership requires probing beneath the surface to confront past influences, cultivate self-awareness and align actions with core values. By doing so, leaders inspire trust, transparency and respect.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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