I drew my weapon and aimed it at the man in the driver’s seat. He was a burly guy who weighed over 300 pounds and was considered armed and dangerous. The stakes were high, and my mind sputtered as I thought about the many ways this could go very wrong.
How could I stay calm, maintain my focus and make a tough decision if he resisted arrest and drew a weapon?
We’ve all had an “oh crap” moment when something has gone wrong or is about to. We’re worried, and our minds start to race. Panic starts to rear its ugly head, and our brains keep screaming, “What if? What if? What if?”
We feel the pressure to make quick yet sound decisions, respond calmly and assure those around us that we’re not only in control but also have a plan for success.
You will face many demanding situations and crises over the course of your career. Like it or not, those are the moments that will define who you are as a leader. The way you respond and manage your emotions can shape how your colleagues and team members remember you.
Here are three tips on how to be an effective leader while under pressure:
1. Leverage experience
As an FBI Agent, I never made an arrest without first conducting a threat assessment. A threat assessment examines a situation objectively and asks, “What kind of problem is this?” “What can go wrong?” “How can I be prepared?”
All arrests carry the potential for unpredictable outcomes. You may not anticipate having to handcuff someone more than twice your size, but you might envision a time when you’re under the gun to meet a deadline, handle a difficult employee or change the course of your business.
When you draw on your prior experience, you recall what went right or wrong. You can identify how to replicate wins and avoid losses. This helps you process your emotions in a potentially stressful scenario and view it as another version of something you’ve already experienced or a problem you’ve already solved. This will enable you to keep moving forward when an ugly emotion called anxiety pops up.
When you plan and envision how the conversation, meeting or scenario might unfold, you prepare for multiple outcomes, ensuring you’re ready to adapt as situations evolve.
My tip: Think about a similar situation you’ve been in before that looked like this one. How did you resolve it? What worked? Maybe you’ve never been in a situation exactly like the one you’re in now, but you can generalize. You’ve probably dealt with something similar, or you’ve seen someone else do it.
2. Name and tame your emotion
Honestly labeling our emotions when we’re under pressure is a great way to manage them, whether they are negative or positive. When we name them, we tame them because it helps our brain calm down under pressure by reducing uncertainty and dampening emotional reactivity.
The process begins by building the vocabulary and awareness needed to accurately identify emotions. Rather than saying “I feel bad,” we learn to recognize more specific states, such as “I feel disappointed,” “I feel embarrassed” or “I feel anxious.” This specificity is the first step toward taming your emotions.
As I approached the car, I needed to be completely honest about what I was feeling — fear! It would be stupid to pretend a negative emotion wasn’t driving my behavior, even though it was embarrassing and could make me look like a weak link in front of my colleagues. I needed to gain control of my emotions, or they would control me, with potentially disastrous results.
Research has shown that labeling activates the thinking brain. When our prefrontal cortex accurately labels our emotional state, it prevents the emotional limbic system from going bonkers and from driving automatic reactions that can undermine our ability to make good decisions.
Certainty calms the sputtering limbic brain because it gives a clear label to what we’re feeling. This sense of certainty prevents us from being hijacked by our emotions. By reducing our emotional reaction, we free up other brain resources to gain another perspective on our situation and reframe what we’re experiencing with a more positive spin. As a result, we respond rather than react.
Labeling means accurately identifying an emotion when it arises. This prevents it from taking over because when you name it, you move out of the emotional limbic brain system and into the thinking, cerebral brain.
My tips:
- Notice the emotion and name it in simple terms.
- Do not judge the emotion as either good or bad.
- Describe the emotion in a word or two; it will help to reduce it.
- Keep your observation brief, because opening a dialogue about it will only intensify it.
3. Reframe your situation
Once the emotion is labeled and its intensity drops, you’re better positioned to reappraise the situation and look at it from another angle. Deliberately reframing how you interpret a stressful situation can reduce negativity by focusing on more positive terms.
It’s an intentional shift in our thinking, and it can require a little imagination! It means re-evaluating our stressors and reframing them as challenges or learning opportunities rather than threats or catastrophes.
I chose to reassess my less-than-ideal situation with the burly suspect in the car by reminding myself that I had practiced this type of arrest hundreds of times at the FBI Academy. I had the training to handle it, which gave me the confidence to make the arrest — without incident! My voice was strong, and my actions were decisive.
Our brains are wired to respond to stress by fixating on negative conclusions. Next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never get this right” or “This is impossible,” challenge that thought. Ask whether it’s based on facts or assumptions, and reframe it with a more balanced, realistic perspective. For example, replace “This is impossible” with “This is a tough challenge, but I’ve overcome similar ones before.”
When faced with a challenging situation, pause and ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” and “What’s the best that could happen?” Exploring both extremes gives you a clearer, more balanced view of the situation. This can help you shift from a fear-based mindset to one that focuses on possibilities and growth.
Research across many studies and contexts shows that reframing produces significant decreases in negative emotions and increases in positive emotions.
Every challenge, no matter how daunting, holds an opportunity. It could be a chance to learn a new skill, build resilience or prove your capabilities. Try to identify at least one positive outcome that could emerge from the situation. This simple practice can rewire your brain to focus on growth rather than stress.
My tips:
- Separate facts from your interpretation of the event in one or two sentences.
- Avoid emotional words or predicting the outcome.
- Refuse to catastrophize by telling yourself, “Everything will fall apart,” “I know this will go badly,” or “They’ll think I’m incompetent.”
Most of our defining leadership moments are high-pressure, and staying calm under stress is a skill we can deliberately build. Effective leadership under pressure depends on managing fear and uncertainty rather than denying them. We can draw on past experiences, accurately name our emotions to reduce their intensity and reframe stressful events as manageable challenges rather than catastrophes. Together, these practices help leaders stay calm, think clearly, adapt decisively and respond thoughtfully when others look to them for direction.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
____________________________________
Take advantage of SmartBrief’s FREE email newsletters on leadership and business transformation, among the company’s more than 250 industry-focused newsletters.