I’ve been thinking a lot about language lately. And how what we say can influence what we get back in return. There are lots of terms and phrases we can add to our vocabulary to support those we serve. Here are four that I tend to use as regularly as possible.
How are you?
Asking someone, “How are you?” is an invitation to open up, rely on each other, and share what is happening. It’s a simple question that focuses on the personal side of the relationships we have with the people in our lives. It requires a level of trust for people to fully open up and, at the same time, even if that trust has not yet been fully established, it lets others know that we are thinking of them. Regularly checking in with this question reminds others that those emotional connections are at the heart of who we are and what we do.
How can I help you?
This question should be on every leader’s short list of questions to address needs and resolve challenges. When we ask, “How can I help you?” we are letting others know that we see a part of our role being to get people the results they need so that they can accomplish their goals, whether in their personal lives or their professional ones. This question can sometimes be answered fully, and at other times, it requires deeper digging to truly understand where people are and where they hope to go. We can make answering this question easier by helping those in our lives know what we mean when we ask it. Leaders who assist others in setting parameters around this question are more likely to be able to get people what they need in the ways that they need it.
Let’s figure it out
The “let’s” is an important word here. It highlights a collaborative approach that members of teams need to hear from their leads. Consider how the meaning, and the associated feelings, change if we remove the “let’s” and replace it with “you.” Sometimes, a single word can have an oversized impact. The “figure it out” represents that addressing challenges isn’t always easy. We have to be willing to put in the work to make change happen, and the ability to figure something out helps to emphasize for people that we aren’t going to give up on them, and we are in it together with our people, whatever that may mean.
I appreciate you
Sometimes, we just need to let people know we see them. Eye contact, a smile or nod, a hug, all of these things can represent our recognition of the people around us. As far as statements go, pairing that eye contact with “I appreciate you,” tells people we really do care about them. We can never give too much appreciation, and of course, that doesn’t mean we have to tell people we appreciate them every five seconds. We should remember that when people know that we care about them, they are more likely to pay it forward and exhibit their appreciation for others. And often, with appreciation comes a level of commitment and perseverance that we wouldn’t find otherwise.
These are four simple statements that, for the most part, take roughly a second to say. That small investment of time is sometimes all that is needed to cement a relationship for a lifetime. Words matter, and how we deliver them matters as well. As you consider your relationships with the people in your lives, always use words and phrases that empower learning and cement you as a leader who truly knows your people.