All Articles Education Educational Leadership How to express gratitude beyond “Thank You”

How to express gratitude beyond “Thank You”

Showing gratitude beyond "thank you" can deepen relationships for educators, writes Fred Ende.

5 min read

EducationEducational Leadership

A blank note next to a bouquet of lavendar

(Pixabay)

I’m writing this during our Thanksgiving break after an amazing time with family and friends. And I’m truly grateful for the network I have; I know I am very fortunate. And, while this is a time of year when we tend to focus on saying “Thanks,” I also believe that gratitude should never be time-bound. I strongly believe gratitude can take many different forms beyond a “Thank You.” Here are four examples of what I mean.

A note of gratitude

I find I live in a parallel world where I greatly appreciate all the benefits that a digital life provides, while also still finding significant value in an analog lifestyle. To that end, I still write handwritten birthday cards for my team and share notes of appreciation for their continued excellent work, during holiday celebrations, and so on. While requiring more time than saying “Thanks” or sending an email, I think that time investment is seen and appreciated. And, as someone who relishes putting pen to paper (besides just mashing computer keys), it helps me feel more connected to the foundations of leadership. I also enjoy taking time to reflect, and since my pen-to-paper writing is always slower than my typing on a digital device, I get the added bonus of some richer reflection time in there too.

An apology

I believe in saying “I’m sorry.” I believe that being humble and having a sense of humility in general helps us come to terms with our mistakes. We are only human, after all. An apology from the heart reminds us that our way is not always the right way, and it lets others know that we respect them enough to admit when we have made a mistake. That said, I also believe that apologies for everything are never advisable. We know when we mess up. It feels a certain way. When we apologize because we are worried about our own capabilities and therefore want to soften every decision with a “I’m sorry,” we discount the skills we bring. So, use an apology as needed; it means more when it matters most.

An interested ear

Lending an ear is part of the process of saying, “I appreciate you.” Lending a truly interested ear sends an even more grateful message. What’s the difference, you ask? To truly appreciate our people, we must both listen to and hear them. And to truly do both, we must commit to being genuinely interested in who they are, what makes them tick, and why they are coming to us to share their thoughts. A much smarter person than me once wrote, “It is better to be fully interested, then to be fully interesting.” While people love the person with great stories and experiences, people both respect and feel connected to the person who is curious about everyone, not just themselves. How can we strengthen our ability to be genuinely interested? One method is to always consider how helping others meet their needs supports the needs of others, including our own. It isn’t selfish to see helping one person as being connected to the success of a larger group!

RAKs (Random Acts of Kindness)

Sometimes, in our day-to-day lives, we just get the urge to do nice things for other people. It’s a function of the human condition, and something that reminds us that we are, in fact, living and breathing organisms, not just robots repeating the same thing every day. RAKs can be anything, whether it’s candy treats placed in everyone’s mailbox, a fun fidget toy left on everyone’s desk, or buying a few games for the office so staff can play during lunch. I’m a fan of bringing in coffee and a treat at the start of each month as a reminder that even a new point in the year can be celebrated for no other reason than the time we spend together moving forward. RAKs are not expected and may not be appreciated the same way by everyone. They are a good reminder that giving back doesn’t have to take a certain form, and what it does do is convey to others that they are seen, heard, and cared about.

Showing gratitude is limitless and not limited to these four examples. If it feels good for others and feels good for you, then it probably is a good option. Bottom line: As leaders and learners, the more ways we can show people that we are better for having them in our lives, the more we can expect them to do the same for the people in their circles. Wishing you a great end to 2025 and a wonderful start to 2026.

Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.


 

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