I spent years perfecting an illusion. The illusion that everything was effortless — that I had it all under control. That I could take on any task with a breezy “sure, no problem” and deliver flawlessly.
Perhaps it was because I was often in roles for which I wasn’t fully prepared, and I thought making it look easy would inspire confidence. Or maybe it was the external validation — the praise that came from appearing competent without visible effort. Whatever the reason, I got good at minimizing the struggle to make hard things look simple. And once the habit was ingrained, even when I did feel competent, I continued the pattern of downplaying what it took to make things happen.
But over time, I realized that never letting others see me “sweat” was doing damage not just to myself but to those around me. Because when leaders make things look easy, it isn’t a service — it’s actually an enormous disservice.
Hiding or minimizing effort comes with a lot of hidden costs. The stress, pressure and burnout I experienced was a small part of it. By masking effort, I was inadvertently sending the wrong message: that success should come naturally, and that struggle is a sign of inadequacy. Of course, that’s not the reality of growth. When people believe they should be able to do things easily, they feel like they’re falling short rather than recognizing that effort is a fundamental part of progress.
Leaders who only showcase the polished outcome without the messy, iterative process behind it set inappropriate expectations. Employees may assume their struggles are a sign of incompetence rather than a natural step toward mastery. The result? A culture where people are hesitant to take risks, ask questions or admit they’re struggling — stifling growth and innovation.
Leaders shape workplace culture not only by what they say but also by what they reveal. And what they conceal. When leaders acknowledge the work behind a success — or a failure — they:
- Normalize effort
- Inspire learning
- Cultivate resilience and persistence
In short, they create a culture where people feel safe and supported and where they can thrive. So, how can you let others see you sweat without losing credibility? Try this.
- Show your work. Don’t just share the final product; talk about the journey. Narrate the process of arriving. What obstacles did you encounter? How did you address them? What did you learn along the way? Let people see the work that goes into success.
- Ask for help. How many times could I have made my life easier by simply reaching out to those around me? And how many people would have felt more capable and more engaged along the way if I’d tapped their skills and expertise?
- Acknowledge effort in others. Take a page from Carol Dweck’s books on the growth mindset. Instead of focusing exclusively on outcomes, recognize and celebrate the hard work that went into them.
- Embrace progress rather than perfection. Years ago, Lisa Earl McLeod wrote a book, Forget Perfect, which serves as an ideal mantra and reminder of the importance of progress. Share your setbacks openly and discuss the strategies you used to navigate them. Acknowledge that missteps and course corrections are natural and even necessary parts of growth.
Authentic leadership isn’t about making things look easy — it’s about making things real. It took me years to recognize that the strongest leaders aren’t the ones who never struggle; they’re the ones who are honest about the process and use that process in service of others.
So, what if we all stopped pretending? What if we let ‘em see the sweat? Maybe, just maybe, we’d all breathe a little easier — and grow a lot stronger together.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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