Rejection is the most human of conditions, especially in how you make your living.
Speaking for myself, rejection is part of how I have made my living. Actually, I made nothing from rejection, but I did live it. As an independent contractor, I lost out on many engagements I thought I was perfect for — only to discover the client believed they could find someone better.
Creatives face the most rejection. Actors miss out on parts. Writers fail to get published. Songwriters strike out repeatedly. Cartoonists endure rejection, notably from The New Yorker, which receives thousands of submissions each year but prints only a handful.
A lesson in that is you may be talented, creative and zany, but sometimes what you think is funny doesn’t click, not because it is not good, but because it’s not the right fit.
3 rules to follow
When it comes to rejection, here are three rules I have followed.
One, it’s NOT you, it’s them. Actors know this dictum firsthand. They read for parts that seem written only for them, only to discover that “them” includes a whole lot of other people, equally talented. They lose the part and the opportunity.
Two, it IS you, not them. As much as we may believe we are exactly right, we may not be. As an executive coach, I have lost engagements where I was skilled enough to handle the assignment, but the client organization thought my background was lacking. For example, the CEO, CFO or CHRO desiring coaching wanted someone who had been in that same role. Fair enough.
Three, keep on keeping on. That famous adage from the Sixties still holds today. Hone your craft. Keep learning. Keep growing. And don’t give up.
Rejection is personal, no matter what people say. It stings, it hurts, and it leaves a mark – if you let it. The challenge is to persevere. Resilience is a muscle. Consider resilience as exercise. Keep on keeping on.
Good news
One of my favorite stories of rejection is the one about Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. One hundred and thirty-two publishers said no to their book, Chicken Soup for the Soul. One said yes. Health Communications, Inc., is a small Florida-based publisher. The book and its many additions have since sold over 112 million copies in North America and been translated into 40 languages.
Rejection is that most human of conditions, but so too is persistence and resilience.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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