What if the way most of us understand competition is fundamentally wrong?
Most of us grew up thinking of competition as a zero-sum game — one winner, many losers and survival of the fittest. A book that recently came to my attention is challenging that assumption with both ancient wisdom and modern evidence.
In Striving Together: Achieve Beyond Expectations in a Results-Driven World, Jeff Moore — CEO of Moore Leadership LLC and one of the most accomplished tennis coaches in collegiate history — reframes competition from the ground up. The key is in the etymology: the word “compete” derives from the Latin competere, which combines com (together) and petere (to strive). Compete, properly understood, means striving together.
From the tennis court to the boardroom
Moore knows what striving together looks like in practice. As head tennis coach at the University of Texas, he guided his teams to two national championships and 18 conference titles. His competitive philosophy was built on developing people.
Competition, in Moore’s framework, is a catalyst for individual and collective growth, not a mechanism for sorting winners from losers. When we reframe competition as development rather than domination, the entire environment changes. Intentional practices become opportunities to stretch each participant and the team. The goal shifts from winning at others’ expense to achieving your potential — and helping everyone around you do the same.
The Steph Curry principle
Reading Moore’s book, I couldn’t help thinking of Steph Curry. The Golden State Warriors superstar is a living example of competition rightly understood. Curry doesn’t just prepare relentlessly to sharpen his own skills — he uses practice to elevate his teammates, maintaining genuine warmth and positive relationships with players and coaches alike. His commitment to personal improvement is inseparable from his investment in the people around him.
The great UCLA men’s basketball coach John Wooden understood this, too. Wooden built dynasty teams not through fear or dominance, but through deliberate practices that stretched each player and authentic relationships that made every player feel known, valued and heard. His legacy is a masterclass in what Moore articulates so powerfully: human connection and competition are not opposites — they are partners.
The connection culture at the heart of it all
As I read Striving Together, I recognized in Moore’s approach the three elements I write and teach in my work on Connection Culture. Leaders who cultivate genuine connection do three things: They communicate a Vision that unites people around a shared, purpose-driven goal. They Value people by genuinely learning about each individual and investing in their development. And they give people a Voice to share their opinions and ideas, then factor it into the decisions they make. In the end, everyone can say: “We did this.”
Moore does all three. In the examples Moore shares, we can see that he connected his teams by communicating a purpose-driven vision, he valued individuals by learning about them and supporting their growth, and he gave them a voice to share their ideas and then acted on what he learned. His coaching philosophy is, at its core, a Connection Culture — one that uses the energy of competition to drive individual and collective development rather than division.
A concern for the next generation
Moore also raises a concern I deeply share: too many young people today are more focused on building their personal brand — the perception others have of them — than on developing their actual character and skills. The irony is that striving together, in the fullest sense, is precisely what builds both. When you commit to honest, demanding practice alongside others who share that commitment, you develop the character and competence that create lasting success — in school, in sport and in your chosen profession.
A reading list for leaders
I highly recommend reading Jeff Moore’s Striving Together in conjunction with Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy and Understanding at Work and My Personal Best: Life Lessons from an All-American Journey by John Wooden with Steve Jamison. Together, these three books will help leaders cultivate a culture that harnesses both human connection and competition — rightly understood — to achieve sustainable superior performance.
The Latin language had it right all along: the path to excellence runs through each other.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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