I was careful to title this post a bit differently than the famous Hasbro game. However, I do believe there are four important elements to put into action as we work to build stronger connections, especially new ones. This week, I had the opportunity to explore some of these ideas with a new group of fantastic educational leaders. Here are some of my takeaways regarding the four foundations for building stronger connections.
Be engaged
Bottom line: Engagement is a key to relationship building. If we are willing to engage with others and show our interest in what they have to say, do and think about, then we are much more likely to build lasting relationships with those people.
A famous person wrote, “It is better to be interested than interesting.” That’s especially true when building relationships. How do we show this interest? I strive to maintain eye contact, lean in and ask questions to further my understanding when others are sharing ideas. On the receiving end, you can see the value of having others looking at you, asking you connected questions and moving closer to you as you speak. Those three moves allow us to connect much more deeply with others.
During this meeting with new educators, I worked hard to pay attention, seek understanding, and show interest in what was being shared as a way to show my desire to connect.
Share your endgame
Relationships are always stronger when there is clarity in how and why we connect. When people know what we are looking for in partnership, and when they can see how they can help us achieve our goals, we are always better off.
Ideally, we’ll be explicit with new people about what we hope the connection leads to. In other words, what do we want and need from these new connections, and how do we hope to achieve this? All relationships are transactional to some degree, so helping people see what we are looking for is an important step to adding value to any potential relationship.
During this meeting with new connections, I made clear what I brought to the table (a desire to connect, a strong understanding of adult learning, etc.) and what I was hoping for (an opportunity to expand my network and build new opportunities). This clarity helped others understand my rationale for being there and the outcomes I was interested in.
Put yourself out there
It can be scary to open up to others before we really establish relationships — that’s true for me. But, at the same time, only through taking the first step in connecting with others can we guarantee that potential relationships can be built.
Taking the first step in connecting helps to build the foundation for forming relationships moving forward. Sometimes that can be as simply as a handshake or a “hello,” or it may require significant introductory conversation to establish the baseline for a relationship to be built.
Regardless, if we won’t take the first step, then how can we guarantee that any step will be taken at all? So, during this relationship-building opportunity, I made sure to walk over and introduce myself to all the educators in the room.
Follow up
One of the most important elements of relationship building is making sure that we follow up — through emailing, calling or simply speaking — to keep those relationships strong. For instance, with this new group of educators, I made sure to follow up with members of the group via email afterward, letting them know how much I enjoyed connecting and my hopes for continuing those connections in the future.
While these four elements don’t guarantee long-lasting connections, they do help to establish connections that can at least get past the starting line. Meeting these new colleagues was an excellent opportunity for me to put relationship building into practice and to consider leadership implications for strengthening connections in all that we do.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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