For more than two decades, I have had the privilege of working alongside educators in districts across the country. Through my partnership with Marcia Russell, Ph.D., a veteran educator and current associate superintendent for Santa Cruz County Office of Education, I have learned one lesson again and again: Family engagement is not something schools schedule. It is a daily mindset.
Too often, schools plan engagement as a series of events and wonder why families don’t show up. But real engagement requires something deeper. It requires understanding families’ realities, removing barriers and building trust through authentic partnership.
With more than 30 years of experience as a teacher, principal, district leader and county administrator, Russell has witnessed both the strongest and weakest engagement efforts. Her stories reveal what truly moves families from observers to partners, and what schools can do differently starting tomorrow.
Understanding your community before you plan
Authentic engagement begins not with a calendar but with curiosity.
One district Russell supported launched an ambitious, in-person strategic planning initiative to gather parent input. The district implemented a digital platform that allowed families to submit and vote on ideas. The event would include dinner, child care, translators and tech support. Unfortunately, despite its careful preparation, the district missed a critical detail: many families didn’t have email. They couldn’t register on the platform.
“We learned very quickly that we did not understand our parent community as well as we thought we did,” Russell said. “Taking an authentic stance of inquiry, really talking to families and asking questions, is essential.”
The district pivoted on the spot, abandoning the technology and sitting in circles to talk directly with parents. That humbling moment reshaped their approach moving forward.
Russell has encountered many similar barriers over the years. Some parents worry they will be judged by others who attend school events more frequently. Some experience social anxiety about walking into events alone. Others come from cultures where offering feedback to educators feels disrespectful. Each of these barriers reinforces the lesson that schools must listen before they design. Once schools understand their communities, solutions become clearer and often more creative.
Reducing barriers through flexible and inclusive approaches
Russell has seen powerful results when leaders move away from rigid formats and adopt flexible strategies. Virtual town halls and online coffees reach families with limited availability. Inclusive event names such as “Lunch with a Loved One” broaden participation beyond traditional family roles. Eliminating acronyms and technical language makes communication more welcoming.
Thoughtful problem-solving helps overcome physical or logistical challenges within school environments. In one district, a school didn’t have enough parking spaces to accommodate both staff and visiting parents. The principal responded by organizing weekly morning coffees. Teachers and custodians parked off-site so families could use the limited spaces. Staff coverage was arranged so teachers could join the conversations. The result was renewed trust and community.
“We always need to ask, ‘Who are we not including?’” Russell said. “And how can we be flexible enough to reach the families who are not showing up yet?”
When families see schools adapting to meet them where they are, their trust begins to grow.
Strengthening engagement through partnership and connection
The strongest engagement efforts move beyond isolated events and become community-centered partnerships. Russell encourages schools to leverage local organizations that families already trust. Public libraries can provide library card sign-ups and share resources such as workshops and tool-lending programs. Community clubs and cultural groups can create welcoming entry points for families who might otherwise feel disconnected from school spaces.
Creative incentives also play a role. One school increased attendance by raffling experiences such as lunch with the principal. Another offered a science lab sleepover for students and families. The excitement generated by these opportunities created momentum that led to deeper engagement.
Still, relationships remain the foundation, and consistent communication makes the greatest difference. One effective way to build trust and understanding is an empathy interview, a one-on-one conversation with a parent or caregiver. Using thoughtful questions, educators can learn about families’ experiences, needs, and perspectives. Leaders can then use the insights gathered to inform school decisions, ensuring families feel heard, valued and reflected in the process. “Once you have built that trust, it is the conversations with families and the opportunities you give them that make the biggest difference,” Russell said.
A mindset that transforms school culture
Family engagement thrives when schools listen before planning, honor cultural and social realities and create multiple pathways for involvement. When schools focus on partnership rather than attendance, families feel valued as collaborators, not visitors. As Russell often reminds educators, families are not guests in our schools. They are co-creators of student success.
When schools remove barriers, build trust and invite authentic participation, they strengthen the entire ecosystem around every learner.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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