At the core of great leadership is self-leadership. As William Penn said, “No man can command another who cannot command himself.” Commanding ourselves during disruption and uncertainty has become the biggest challenge for leading ourselves and others. It’s easy to give in to the voice in your head that threatens your stability. The path of least resistance is to become impulsive during conflict. The easy road is to blame politics, world events and circumstances as an excuse to limit your efforts.
As I make my way out of post-op (12 weeks past knee replacement surgery), I’m sharing universal principles of self-leadership during times of disruption.
Manage your impulses
Good decision-making is possible when you’re working from the pre-frontal cortex, not the primal brain. When you’re emotionally compromised and have no more bandwidth, you’ll react compulsively. The same is true if you’re on pain medication. For example, during recovery, I’d see things on TikTok or Amazon and think, “I need to buy that.” I bought new coffee mugs and a rebounder. At the moment of the purchase, I felt a little rush of dopamine. When these products arrived (especially the huge rebounder), I thought, what am I doing?
Leadership lesson: When we’re emotionally or mentally compromised, we make impulsive decisions. It’s nothing to worry about as long as no one gets hurt. Get the support and the rest you need so that you maintain capacity during difficult times.
Embrace imperfection
Even when you make less-than-perfect decisions, don’t beat yourself up. Enjoy the surprising benefits of self-awareness and notice the ripple effect of your choices. For example, buying new coffee mugs meant another decision: either clean the clutter or return the purchase. I cleaned and made room for the new purchase. As for the rebounder, I watched videos to learn a new fitness routine.
Leadership lesson: Impulsive decisions remind you of your humanity and how emotions affect decision-making. As long as no one gets hurt, chalk up your imperfect decisions as life lessons on the road to higher self-awareness and better decisions.
Push past your limits
In my book From Conflict to Courage, I talk about building conflict capacity. In short, building conflict capacity is about self-expansion and pushing past perceived limits. As a leader, if you want to grow you have to really work at overcoming internal challenges. Regarding knee replacement, it’s tempting to give in to the voice that says, “You should slow down. You’re 66, after all.” My advice: Whether you’re striving to attain a higher level of leadership or working through a recovery, don’t listen to that voice in your head! Your story is the source of your suffering! Don’t give up, and don’t give in. Get a goal and make a new vision for yourself. As for recovery, I’ve been using red-light therapy, getting massages, taking long hot baths, stretching and using the rebounder.
Leadership lesson: Leadership isn’t leadership without self-leadership. You must constantly challenge the voice in your head and refuse to stop growing. Growth always comes from pushing past comfort, whether it’s physical recovery or professional development.
Be selective about who you listen to
Mentoring and leadership coaching can help you get to the next level, but be careful who you listen to. If the advice feels bad in your gut, pay attention: It means something isn’t aligning. Everyone has an opinion, but not every opinion is valid. The same is true for recovery and healing. I heard all sorts of conflicting advice: “You shouldn’t feel pain after six weeks,” or “I had a friend who recovered in no time.” Even my physical therapist told me I could do whatever I wanted after six weeks. When I checked with my doctor, he firmly said, “No, go slow — even after 12 weeks.”
Leadership lesson: In leadership and recovery alike, discernment and critical thinking are crucial. Be true to yourself because, eventually, any advice you take will affect you. Trust your instincts, seek expert advice and avoid the noise of uninformed opinions.
Control your mindset and focus
The path to success is never a straight line. There will be days when you feel like you’re spiraling down. You must not succumb to the pull of depression. Don’t buy into the story you’re telling yourself; that it’s never going to get better or it’s taking too long. Eliminate any unnecessary stressors. Stop scrolling on social media and engaging in arguments where no one is open to changing their mind. Align yourself to your desired outcome instead of getting distracted by everyone else’s.
Leadership lesson: If leadership is about anything, it’s about alignment, and alignment is about focusing energy. Where you put your attention is where you put your energy. Leaders know that mindset shapes outcomes — so focus on what fuels progress, not what drains it.
Progress in any worthy endeavor can feel slow, but you will turn a corner. When things feel stagnant, the key is persistence. You don’t always see the results immediately, but if you stay consistent, breakthrough moments will come.
Self-leadership isn’t just about making the right choices — it’s about staying committed to growth, resilience and discernment during disruption. Whether you’re recovering from a health crisis or navigating a professional challenge, push forward, stay intentional and trust the process. Your next breakthrough may be just around the corner.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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