If you’re a leader or an entrepreneur — and especially if you work in or operate a family business — you can probably relate to elements of this story. Even when the numbers are good and morale is high, things get messy. You’re always only one unforeseen event from a full-blown crisis. And when it’s time to pass the baton, it raises all kinds of uncomfortable, but vital, questions about ownership, control, mortality, legacy and your vision for the future.
I’ve become a specialist in the very thing I worked so hard to distance myself from: family business. Sometimes life pulls you in an unexpected direction. You think you’re being led off course. But in the end, you learn that’s exactly where you needed to be.
Business is centered on relationships
Business is ultimately centered around relationships. Whether you’re helming a public company with thousands of employees or a small, local chain, economic exchange involves more than one party. Businesspeople are human, and humans are influenced not just by cold, calculating economic self-interest but also by complex interpersonal dynamics.
This reality complicates leadership.
Most of us YOLO ourselves into a venture, then try to figure out how to make it all work while we’re in the trenches. We read books that focus on mindset or strategy, manifestation and visualization or some set of cardinal rules the experts tell us never to break. Others talk of luck, grit or being in the right place at the right time. The reality is that all of these play a role — but to really become successful, you need to apply different skills at different stages of the journey.
The role of purpose and flexibility
Purpose and flexibility are the twin guiding lights. When you have a purpose, you keep your eye on the ball. When you’re capable of changing tacks or shifting course, you can weather the unique challenges that inevitably emerge.
One of the biggest traps business owners fall into is working in their business rather than on it — becoming a “business owner” who bought their way into a job instead of building something that doesn’t require day-to-day involvement. This distinction determines whether what you build can grow — or whether it collapses under its own weight.
Entrepreneurship requires total commitment. You’re either in or out. The ones who succeed over the long term are the ones who give everything, without falling back on a Plan B. That means valuing your people and investing in top talent, because your support team is what makes your vision a reality. Without a team and without putting people first, it gets lonely at the top.
That also means cultivating mentors or advisors — people who have your interests at heart and will give it to you straight, instead of yes-men who say whatever they need to say to gain a foothold on the next rung of the ladder.
If you’re getting beaten up, you’re growing
Building a business is hard. Building a family business is even harder. Whether you’re doing it yourself or with family involved, there are certain truths you can rely on. If you only face weak competitors, you’ll never improve. But if you play tough opponents, they’ll beat you — but eventually your skills will sharpen, and you’ll compete on their level.
If you’re not getting beaten, what are you learning? If you’re not getting beat up, you’re not growing. You’re playing it too safe. And safe players aren’t great players.
These are fundamental business truths learned through trial and error. But this isn’t a “how to make money” story. Because the most important lesson of all is that success — without finding your own purpose — leads to an empty hunger that can never be satiated. Money is a means to an end, not the end itself.
Reflecting on your purpose as a leader
Once you reach a certain financial benchmark — whether it’s six figures, seven figures or an empire — you’ll need more than the next milestone to keep you going. That’s the trap many successful men and women fall into. They achieve their goals, but if those goals are merely professional or monetary, reaching them is ultimately unfulfilling. The more boxes you tick, the more you’ll crave more.
Often, you don’t figure this out until you’re in it. Sometimes, a momentous disruption in your personal life, or a surprising turn of events in business, opens your eyes. For me, it was watching my father at the end of his life.
Looking from the outside in, you would think this was a man who had it all. He was surrounded by his family. But even in his dying days, his head was in the business. He spoke of stores, employees, success, of more to do, but no time left to do it.
Reflecting on his legacy caused me to reflect on mine. I’ve been guilty of workaholism in my own career. I wondered what I was striving for. What any of us are chasing. Purpose.
I can’t tell you what your purpose is. That’s something each individual must discover for themselves. That’s part of the journey. You must ask: What really matters to me? Why do I do what I do? Why does this all matter?
Sometimes life pulls you off course. But changes don’t mean you’ve diverted from your destiny. They mean you’re embracing it. Going “off course” might put you exactly where you need to be — for life, or for the next step it offers.
Leadership isn’t just about what you build. It’s about what remains when you step away.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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