Nathan Lane had been performing on Broadway for decades and had starring roles in many films, including his most famous, The Birdcage. Charles Isherwood, then at the New York Times, wrote a favorable portrait of Lane, calling him one of the stage’s “great entertainers.” Lane was flattered, of course, but as he told Sam Fragoso on Fresh Air, he can find a “dark cloud in any silver lining.”
Lane’s discomfort was that he was proud of his work, but he viewed himself less as an entertainer and more as an actor. His friend and mentor, Brian Dennehy, was considering staging a revival of Eugene O’Neill’s The Iceman Cometh. Lane approached the producer and said that if such a revival were to occur, he would love to be considered for the role of Hickey. Lane got the role and, more recently, is starring on Broadway in a revival of Death of a Salesman.
Ask for help
What is fascinating about this anecdote is that Lane, as big a star as he is and an eight-time Tony nominee, three-time winner, was not afraid to ask for a role. Some actors would consider the asking beneath them. Nathan realized that if he wanted to stretch himself as an actor, he would have to put himself out there and, yes, ask to be considered.
Wayne Baker, professor emeritus at the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan, wrote a book about this topic, called – you can guess it – All You Have to Do is Ask. Baker’s precise that when you ask for help, people will respond, not always, but surprisingly often. The obstacle so often is not others; it lies within us. Our ego holds us back from asking for help.
There is an interesting dynamic that occurs when you ask for help. You are putting yourself out there to make a connection. Yes, you are asking for something, but in doing so, you are creating a framework for something positive to occur.
Fostering community
For years, I have belonged to an association of professionals, begun by Marshall Goldsmith, whose mantra is to share what you know. When meeting a new colleague – or connecting with one – we make a habit of asking, “How can I help you?” This statement may be considered altruistic, and to a degree it is, but in reality, it fosters what so many of us are looking for – community.
“Arthur Miller really tapped in to something in this play,” Lane said. “And it’s the last bastion of community. It’s people gathering around the campfire. It’s the human connection.” Making such a connection would never have happened if Lane had not asked and been willing to challenge himself to broaden his skills and fulfill his dream.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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