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Simple mistakes leaders make and 5 questions to avoid them

Avoid mistakes that can disempower your team by learning how they like to be recognized for a job well done, writes Amber Johnson.

5 min read

LeadershipWorkforce

mistakes

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Steven is a data analyst with an eye for detail. Not long ago, he noticed a pattern in the data that helped his team react faster — saving money and increasing results. 

Tracey, Steven’s boss, was delighted with the outcomes. His work was game-changing — and she brought him on stage at an all-hands meeting to celebrate the accomplishment. People cheered. There were photos. Colleagues he didn’t even know were patting him on the back for a week.  

Steven was miserable.  

Steven’s story is hypothetical, but the experience of being misunderstood by your well-intentioned leader is real. 

Even great leaders make mistakes in how they support and care for their team members, often by taking the same approach for everyone without recognizing that personal preferences, like Steven’s desire to avoid the limelight, change the way your efforts will be received.  

You can avoid common mistakes by asking thoughtful questions instead. 

5 mistakes that make your leadership cookie-cutter 

Mistake #1: Showing appreciation generically rather than specifically

Most of us assume that others want to be recognized and celebrated in the same ways we prefer. Of course, this is not true.  

While some people love public recognition, others do not. My colleagues and I were reminded of this not long ago when we asked 100 team members from a Chicago organization about how they wanted to be recognized.  

We knew we’d hear things such as pay bumps and promotions. We thought we’d hear public recognition or maybe an award ceremony. Instead, the number one request from the crowd was simple: people wanted a handwritten note from their leader.  

Ask your team members, How do you like to be appreciated? Then, honor their requests.  

Mistake #2: Using the wrong channel of communication

The next question to ask your direct reports is, What’s the best way to reach you when a message is timely?

For some, seeing your boss’s phone number on your caller ID causes waves of panic. Others know that their email account is a cesspool where important messages go to die. Some find text messages to be intrusive, while others appreciate the quick pops of info or connection. 

In my case, unscheduled phone calls can cause me to worry. I tell my colleagues to text me, saying they’ll call in a few minutes. This attentiveness to my communication preferences helps ensure I’m ready to hear what they have to say.

Mistake #3: Giving feedback the same way to everyone

I have a colleague who says, “Just stab me in the front,” about how he likes to receive feedback. He wants direct, clear feedback — no mincing of words. 

I like clear feedback, too, but I’ll hear it better if you first recognize my contributions.  

How do you want to receive feedback to hear it well? Asking your team members how they prefer to receive feedback helps you maximize the potential that they’ll hear it well. Some need written feedback; others want to be in dialogue. Some can take constructive feedback in passing, while others need to be in a private space to process.  

Learn how your team members like to receive feedback and deliver it to them in a manner that they’ll hear it.  

Mistake #4: Missing the broader context of a person’s life

While work is important, we’re all full humans with priorities outside the office. We also have natural preferences and rhythms that can sometimes be accommodated in our work.  

Maybe you turned down a promotion because it would have moved you to the third shift or required you to relocate. Maybe making it to your kid’s soccer games matters to you, so meetings at 4 p.m. are an obstacle. Or, perhaps you’re a night owl, so working with colleagues in Asia is easy, but early morning calls with London are tough. 

Great bosses ask, What are you juggling? What are your priorities? How can we make work fit more naturally in your life? 

Mistake #5: Assuming you know how someone wants to grow

The natural career progression for James, a product manager, would have been to work towards becoming Head of Product at his firm. Instead, James surprised me and his colleagues by asking for more work in the diversity, equity and inclusion space. He was ready to grow, and his interests weren’t where any of us expected.  

Do you know how your team members want to grow? Do you know what they want to learn? Where is their growth focus technically and in terms of their leadership? 

Asking those questions — at least once a year, if not more regularly — can help you develop your team members while also ensuring they feel more fulfilled in their work and excited about their career opportunities.  

Being a supportive leader

Team members want a supportive and caring leader. But what it means to be supported or cared for will look different for each person on your team. Asking what they need and then doing your best to meet these needs and accommodate their preferences will show care that feels personalized.

Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.

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