Sometimes, the best way to learn about someone is to stay silent.
This is a method that Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Hilton Als applied when he wrote a story for The New Yorker on the musician Prince. Rather than sit down and pepper the star with questions — a technique that many journalists use — Als slipped backstage and was waved in by the star himself. Als sat back and watched how Prince “brightened” when he interacted with fellow musicians Maceo and Larry Graham. As Als told Tanya Mosley on Fresh Air, “And then I understood that I had stayed and been allowed to stay, and it was very interesting.”
After the show, Als slipped away, and in the nick of time, an assistant to Prince flagged him down, saying that Prince would like to meet with him again. Later, Prince offered Als the opportunity to collaborate on his memoir. Als declined that offer because it would have been a conflict of interest with The New Yorker. But Als is something more valuable — trust. Prince, says Als, “Heard the silence. And in hearing the silence, he was able to speak to me.”
Practicing silence
“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear,” said the Persian poet Rumi. Silence is an excellent practice when it comes to making a connection and, over time, gaining an individual’s trust.
There are ways to cultivate silence. Als begins his mornings by listening to nature and avoiding human chatter. Nature is a great stimulus for practicing silence if you take the time to be mindful of the situation.
For example, be present in the moment. Watch what is occurring around you — birds in flight, sometimes chattering. Listen to the breeze ripple through leaves, bathing the area in a cocoon of whooshing.
If you cannot experience nature directly, apply your mindful spirit to what is happening around you. You can remain silent in a busy location. You may hear snatches of conversation mixed with sounds of traffic or wailing police sirens. Just listen.
You can also listen to the silence in your home. Sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and pick up sounds — or lack of them — all around you.
In our rush-rush world filled with barrages of sounds — some loud as sirens, others simple clattering of keys on the keyboard — silence can be at a premium. But sound should not interfere with our intention of listening. Frances Bacon posited that “Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” Silence, therefore, opens the door to learning.
Silence in verse
Silence, because it can help us look inward, naturally lends itself to poetry.
The absence of sound.
Sterile, cold, silent.
But.
There is sound.
A bird chirping.
Crickets chorusing.
Voices muffling.
Cars whooshing.
Silent, no. Quiet, yes.
Quietude.
There is warmth in its embrace.
If we listen.
Silence is everywhere. If we only listen.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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